Thursday, August 13, 2009

unaccomplished

Well, I set out today to make some things happen, to accomplish some things around here that needed to be done. It did not happen. I was wayyyyy less than super. Usually I do good to get my boys and my husband and myself through one day and on the next. I'm not spectacular and my house is not AWEsome everyday and I don't have absolutely perfect children and parenting skills.

Maybe I didn't get things accomplished because I was too exhausted. Maybe I just didn't have it in me today to push myself. Maybe I just LET exhaustion be an excuse to skip out on cleaning and what not. It's true I am exhausted and I don't do well when I feel this worn out. Virtually nothing gets done. My whole family suffers because of me. I just don't wear exhaustion well. No one ever told me that being a Mommy is so fabulous and at the same time (for me) so guilt-ridden. I constantly feel guilty. I set these goals and don't finish them. I realize it's such a big disservice to my family and I want to work on it, truly I do. More so, I want to look to the heavens and scream, "God, FIX ME!!!" Then I realize He doesn't usually work that way. Everything happens on His time, not always the second I demand it. Perhaps my prayer should be more of me asking God to give me rest. GOOD rest at night when sleeping is supposed to happen. Maybe I should pray that I sleep dreamlessly and continually throughout the night. maybe. Maybe there's more to it that my oblivious eye is missing. Time will tell. or God will show me.

The one thing I did accomplish today is getting all THREE of my guys to sleep at the same time today. (Keep in mind that Taylan and Kanyon no longer take naps-except today!). It was soooo nice, because I got in a little nap too. Now, I'll be a little more rested for VBS.... and so will they. I love naps, I could nap everyday, but so little would get done around here, so usually I don't nap....even though I really really wish I could.

Now, I'm going to VBS to watch my amazing husband sing and play his guitar on stage and get all the kids pumped up. I love watching him. He is so good with kids. always has been. I love him with my whole heart. My existence wouldn't be the same without the man of my dreams sleeping next to me every night. I LOVE him. More on VBS tomorrow when it's over...

...and more about the my husband - the superdad around here soon...

1 comment:

  1. Oh good grief...don't be so hard on yourself...when school starts it will be sooo much easier!! Love you friend...and LOVE the new header!!

    ReplyDelete

I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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