Friday, January 22, 2010

living in sin

There are a few sins that always seem to hang over my head. Sins I have a hard time keeping in check. Anger. Bitterness. Obedience, or lack thereof.  Just to name a few. Those are things I struggle with daily. Especially today. Today was tough. Probably because I didn't get enough sleep. Those days are the worst for me. But THE biggest sin I seem to struggle with... is laziness. It's hard. I live in it daily. I can't stand it, yet I give in to it. I give in to one more episode, on more photo to play around with and edit, one more glance at my emails. While I have been doing my very best to give my days over to the Lord each morning, I don't even consider laying the specific sins I deal with at his feet too. I forget to pray to Him to help me to overcome these ugly sins. Sins I don't like to see when I look in the mirror. These things may not be as humanly huge as, say, murder, but they do affect my sweet family members in huge ways. My sin of laziness causes me to let things around the house slip off the radar, get dinner on late sometimes, get the boys bathed late, it even puts ME in a bad mood sometimes!

Eh, it can wait til tomorrow. I say that a lot. Then usually there are a ton of tomorrows that follow. Implementing  a schedule is helping, and I find that the form found HERE for a daily schedule might work best for me as opposed to the one I have now. I'll let you know. I want to be better, my heart desires to serve my family better, but overcoming this daily thing is difficult for me. This has always followed me and I've always carried it and have yet  to truly put forth the effort needed to overcome it. I don't pray about it unless I'm really really frustrated. Then ya know, I'll offer up a few bullet prayers in that anger and frustration. I know that's the wrong approach, so it's time for me to make a change. I plan on listing out the ugliness I want to rid myself of. Although it is impossible for me to EVER be perfect, there are certain things inside me that could stand to change. After I make a list of my negatives, I want to be sure and thank God for the positives he has given me. Then I want to pray over these things daily. I need to improve. I want to. I want to be better for my family, for Jesus.  I fear so much slipping back into a slump where there ain't no sunshine for me. And I think making a permanent change in my life by praying over these things will definitely help keep me from going back there. I know that doesn't means times won't ever get tough. There's most certainly still gonna be rough patches, but I'll be better equipped to handle them if I can get rid of my worst sins.

I struggle with memorizing verses. I know parts of scripture. Some of it I just know paraphrased, and some I actually know word for word, but there are only a couple of verses where I know the scripture and it's reference. But one thing I learned a long time ago, I often don't put into practice. It's this verse:

Never be lazy, instead work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.

It's so hard for me to do just what that verse says. I don't know where it's found in the Bible....just know it's in there. I am a lazy person by nature. I have a few things going against me like my sluggish thyroid and low metabolism, but I can't let those things become my excuse. I am lazy. That's a fact. I want to be UNlazy. That's also a fact. I should just do what this verse says. Enter: my lack of obedience. I also have a hard time with that enthusiastically part. Yeah, sometimes that is just so dadgum hard!! Bad moods, and a temper make that SUPER hard sometimes! Cranky kids, cranky baby, cranky hubby, cranky momma, that doesn't help either. But I MUST find a way. Maybe I'll find that verse that says NEVER STOP PRAYING and use that as my guide too. That will probably help the enthusiasm flow a little more freely.

I want to stop living in this sin of laziness. I want to be free from that (among other things).

2 comments:

  1. I hear ya!! I am soooo Lazy I wish i could wake up in the morning read my bible,workout, play with my little girl, clean the house and then be showered and dressed nice when my husband comes home and then sit and talk with him while playing with the baby and then have dinner and dishes done before bed sit and watch a little TV before and then wake up and do it agian but really my day is more like wake up read my bible feed the baby, go back to sleep wake up feed the baby, check my email,blogs,and facebook,watch tv then right before husband comes home jet around the house to make it seem like i did do some cleaning and then sit back down and watch tv and play on the computer... Maybe once we move i can change the routine and help with my lazyness!!... Give it to the lord and he will handle it!!

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  2. Hey Brooke!

    I just wanted to mention a couple of things that may help...they are things I try to keep in mind and gain perspective and might be useful.

    First, I would say that if you feel you are truly struggling with being lazy, then continue to do what your doing and be proactive about it. The thing to remember is that you don't have to accomplish everything your heart desires in one day. Start small and build your way up. Elizabeth and I struggle with keeping up with the house as well, it's just the reality of having kids in and out of your house...your focus is on them (as it should be) and things get cluttered. The key is not let yourself get comfortable with the clutter...pray specifically for God to give you the right motivation to clean up the messes that we all typically leave to build up more and more. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help! No one person can accomplish everything on their own.

    I get frustrated with Scripture memorization, just like anyone else. But it's funny, I know I'm capable of memorizing. I have over two thousand songs on my IPOD right now, and I'm pretty sure I have memorized 98% of the songs. Heck, I can even recite the Beverly Hillbillies theme song and I wasn't even alive when it was made!

    I think the key here is just to stay consistent with it, and ask God to write His Words on your heart. The coolest thing I ever saw when I attended BBC in Missouri was watching Missionary Jim Capaldo quote the entire book of Titus by memory in one of his sermons.

    For more inspiration (to blow our minds more than anything), read the entire book of Jeremiah...you will find midway that Jeremiah actually wrote this book twice after the first copy was thrown into a fire. God told him to rewrite the whole book from memory word for word, and that's exactly what Jeremiah did. It sounds crazy, but I promise it is in there.

    And remember, don't focus on memorizing entire books of the Bible...start small and stay focused...your memory WILL take over. Here's an article I found to also give you something to think about. Hope this helps. Stay with it girl, you're awesome!

    http://www.fallenandflawed.com/tricks-memorize-scripture/

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