Thursday, January 7, 2010

goal not achieved

Yesterday was tough. Like most days lately. Boy 1 was at school all day. Boy 2 and 3 must have gotten together and made a plan to make sure Mom did not get onesinglemoment of time to herself yesterday. I understand that hey that's parenthood, but usually there are naps involved and older kids can play quietly by themselves (even for 10 minutes) where Mom can just take a few deep breaths, think and work out things in her head and just revel in those few moments of quiet. Days where that doesn't happen are even more trying than other days. I struggled. I struggled big yesterday. I set forth a goal for myself to smile a lot (from reading The Power of a Positive Mom) throughout the whole day. I failed. I did manage to smile MORE, but I wouldn't call it A LOT. The boys challenged me. All day. Kanyon wanted to show me EVERYTHING and he had so much to say too - more than usual. And I smiled and said great job or way to go or awesome to him each time....until I was trying to lay the baby down for a nap. I had to ask K several times to leave my room so J would go to sleep. I was so frustrated. I had things to do. I had been trying to finish folding my laundry ALL.DAY. By this point it was about 330pm. He finally crashed... for about 5 minutes. Long enough for me to put the mounds of clean clothes that were scattered about my couch away. And K was my big helper, putting things away that were in his reach. I was thankful for that. But as soon as I was ready to take a breather and collect my thoughts, baby woke up. It was 930pm or so last night before I was able to even THINK without someone else in the room. Yes, I think I sound selfish for wanting just 10 minutes without anyone at my feet, but that's how I get through my day sometimes. I think. A lot. And I like to think uninterruptedly sometimes. Yesterday was hard, yes, but today will be better, and I will keep my goal the same. So to smile a lot at my husband, my babies, my friends, I must do it purposefully. I must mean to do it. I have to choose to do it. I will keep this as my goal everyday and I believe it will eventually improve my mood and the atmosphere of our home in general.

Happy Thursday =D

ps. If you do something for 21 consecutive days, it becomes a habit.

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