Friday, February 19, 2010

meltdown in progress

I needed one of those door knob hangers that says that real big... MELTDOWN IN PROGRESS... DO NOT ENTER!

Anyways...

Well, at least I now have a clue what is happening with Jonyn. He's running fever. I didn't notice or check it until just now... when the doctor's office closes. He's been in my arms all day so I couldn't tell he was warmer than usual. So now I will debate in my head for the next several hours whether or not to wait it out through the weekend or go ahead and go to a dreaded walk in. It's still low enough not to be dangerous, but already over 100. I gave him some Tylenol so I'm hoping and praying he'll feel better soon and take a good afternoon nap. It explains his behavior this week. It's probably his ears. He's only had one other ear infection, but this is the same as the last one. No tugging on them and the day his nose starts running is the day he starts running fever, so no early signs from him other than clingy-ness that something is wrong.

It is wearing me out. It's times like these I don't think I'm ready for another child. I had a major meltdown earlier. major.major.major. It was ugly. But it happened. I've been trying all day long to take a shower. The baby didn't sleep well last night so neither did I so I didn't get up early enough for a shower this morning. After my meltdown, I finally texted Toby that "I really just want to take a shower. Can you come hold the baby long enough for me to do that?" He did right away. I was glad. And I took a very hot shower. I only do that when I'm stressed. Usually I can't stand the heat, but it calms me when I'm stressing. My skin was really itchy by the end of it, but it was worth it.

So now I get to fret about my sick baby and still not get a thing done today. I was going to have a garage sale today. Then moved it to tomorrow, but since I can't get a lick done, I'm sure I'll push it back to next week. In fact, that's a brilliant idea. I'll just wait to do it next week.

Some good news is that my brother is in Midland right now on a job and will be coming to visit us on his way back home. I can't wait. It's been over a year since I've seen him. He was away on a job at Thanksgiving when we were there. So he's never met his newest nephew and I can't wait for them to see each other for the first time. Plus the older boys are super excited to see him. It'll be a much needed happy moment. And I seriously cannot wait!

2 comments:

  1. Just cry it out honey!! CRY, CRY, CRY!! Crying is a gift God gave us a means to release stress and grief and anger and happiness and nervousness and pretty much EVERY other emotion you can think of that consumes us from time to time!! So cry it out! I bet you felt a whole lot better after the meltdown, didn't you?? :o) You're my hero today...because you do so much for everyone around you...you are a complete giver. I admire you...and I count myself blessed to call you 'friend!' Hang in there!! And if you need to vent...CALL ME!! I love you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so sorry you are having a crap day! Cry it out girl! :) Love you!

    ReplyDelete

I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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