Thursday, May 20, 2010

my night owl

{note: these images are SOOC, unedited... except for a white balance adjustment and sharpen for web}

By nature, I'm a night owl. I fought God on this for awhile, begging Him to make take me from night owl to early bird. Finally, I just realized I need to stop seeking Him to change me and start accepting who I was made to be. Not that night owl is some BIG thing, but it is part of the way I was specifically designed. To enjoy the night time, the dark, the quiet and stillness of the evening and night time hours. Mornings are not my thing. I don't like 'em. I dread getting out of bed everyday. I drag my feet. I speak very little in the mornings, ask my family. And it's always been this way for as long as I can remember. Just ask my Mom. She'll tell you how many weekends I slept til eleven or later.

Now, here I am, an adult. A parent. And still? I like to sleep til at least 8am [when it's not a school day]. I know eight is not late, really. But when my oldest is an early bird, it kinda is late[r]. I do get up earlier during the school year to get them off to school.. and guess what.. we've not been tardy once. Nope. I'm happy about that. But anyhow, that's not the point. The point is that two of the children I have birthed have taken after me. My little night owls.
My second and third born babes. Kanyon (my second) has always gone to bed early (8pm), like his older brother, but can easily lay there til 10:30 or eleven, wide awake. He always been like that. And my third boy? Well, he stays up late too. And sleeps late. I'm working hard on changing this, although some nights it's easier to get him to sleep early and some nights it's a true struggle. Like last night. But on the night's he won't crash early, he and I go lay down in my bed. He plays... with the lamps, my books, my pens, he gets on the bed-off the bed-and back again. I read, or play with him :) He's my night time buddy. My sweet little night owl. And I'm okay with it. For now. (He would SO have an early bedtime if he were school age like the other two). He won't be little forever. And I'm determined to make up my own rules and follow my own heart and momma instincts with him and the new baby. I listened to too many other people/parents about what's right and wrong with the older two. This time, I'm following MY heart. And I love it. Though not everyone would agree with how we parent, it is how WE are parenting OUR babes. I will listen to input, but not take it as seriously as before. I will trust myself before thoughts before others opinions on what's right.
I'll never again have these moments with him once he gets big. So I am soaking it up the best I can while he's still my little baby boy, while he still wants to hang out with me in my room, while he still loves to be close to me and hear my heartbeat and play with my hair and look straight into my eyes and lay on my tummy and give me [open mouth] kisses like only babies do. My boys grow everyday. It's beautiful and sad at the same time.

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