Tuesday, June 1, 2010

as much as I'm soaking it all up...

... I'm still SO ready to meet our new sweet son.

{please ignore the icky piles of laundry. thankyouverymuch}

Most of you know that we had two kids. then two miscarriages. and now two more kids (well, soon to be a total of four). So basically, I feel like God decides when I'm done having babies (some would disagree). My mind goes through these things where I think, okay, we're gonna have another kid after this fourth one. THEN I think, IF God says so. If we were to go through another loss, I'm not real sure what we would do. Try again, not try anymore. I just really don't know. So therefore, as much as every single image I see of a newborn makes me cry and want to meet and hold my newest little man, and nurse him and wear him and kiss him and snuggle him, I am SO soaking it all up. Taking my time. Not rushing things. We still have yet to look at boy names. The girl name just came so easily... it didn't require a ton of looking. But since finding out we're having boy FOUR, I haven't cracked open my baby name book, or looked on the internet, or checked out names during the credits of every movie/show. I'm in no hurry.

Every single kick and shove is a sweet blessing. I take none of it for granted. Our situation could be so much more dramatic-in a negative way. We could have ZERO kids. But God has given us the gift of being parents and I don't take these sweet little in-the-womb moments for granted. I'm so thankful for them. Being pregnant has been one of the best things about my life these past 7+ years. Each pregnancy has been different. I really mean that. They've all treated me differently, but I have enjoyed each and every one. I'm thankful, and blessed beyond belief. I'm even thankful that I haven't had to trick or coerce my husband into more kids. We've only moved forward with our decisions when we were BOTH ready. I love that. (oh, by the way, I wouldn't actually trick him even if he said no more. seriously. no need to add resentment to our marital status).

My baby kicks me even as I sit here. My belly jumps ever so slightly, enough that I can see and feel it through my flesh. It's such a beautiful thing. I haven't gushed over my pregnancy in a while, so there you go ;) And what started it was seeing some newborn images that made my heart melt and the TEARS flow. Yes, it seems I cry each time I see a teensy tiny bundle of life.


{wanna know a secret? I still kinda think I might be having a girl. I'm choosing to treat him like he's a boy, as the doctor said he was. BUT I can't help but have this slight feeling that he is actually a sweet she?? guess we'll see! though, it's likely I'm wrong.}

3 comments:

  1. Here's a boy name...I'm just throwing it out there, so give it a thought or two...ok, are you ready?

    HURLEY (HUGO, is optional :o)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I LOVE the bump and the ADORABLE shirt!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That shirt is extremly adorable!!!

    ReplyDelete

I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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