Sunday, August 1, 2010

we've been on a break

It's kinda like me. and my life. have been on a break.

I've taken a break from my life. sorta.

from blogging.

from picture taking obsessively around the house.

from cleaning [because i've been asking my boys do the 'jobs' for me].

from everysinglething. i've just been chillin'. i think. all last week. maybe not chillin', but more like takin' up space.


the last two days, my boys have been going nuts.

too hot to play outside for too long.

hovering around my legs.

following me into every room.

always asking to watch movies or play video games.

being unnecessarily loud and mean and hateful and hurtful.

and? i'm starting to realize there are just a few things we need before this baby is born. *sigh*

so now. i feel slightly more stressed.

and tired. and worn out. just exhausted, really.

but now, i think i'm ready to get back together with my life.

we're making up. the break is over.

my heart is so much desiring to place God in the complete center. of my life. of my marriage. of my child rearing. of my soul. of my every day.

it's hard to change habits. to stop turning the laptop on at night as soon as we hop in bed. to get up a bit earlier and spend a few minutes alone with my Savior before the house wakes up. to not feel so sleepy at 8am and 8pm. to be intentional about prayer. and scripture seeking. and speaking only positive things. and being kind. to not get  it's hard.

my heart and soul long for one thing [God and more God]. my body another [sleep and more sleep].

these are my struggles. the truth. me.

and i try. i am trying.

but as master yoda would say...“No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.

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