Tuesday, October 5, 2010

he's really here

I still find myself saying... I can't believe he's finally here. It's been 6 days. My baby is 6 days old. And he's so tiny. But he's so sweet. And he eats SO much. I find myself staring at him. Growing love for him every time I look at him.
{4 days old}

His story? It's a simple one, nothing amazing, except that one part.

We went to the hospital at 5am to get all the IVs started and all that jazz. Not fun. It took 5 tries before they were able to get the needle into a vein. I hate needles. Very much so. But they got it, without me passing out this time. They started pitocin after a little while. It didn't do a whole lot. I went in dilated to a 3. About 70% effaced. I felt some contractions, but nothing that made me wanna cry or call for drugs. I already knew I wanted an epidural. I tried sticking it out last time. I was forced to stick it out the time before that. And the time before that, I tried and failed. So this time, I told them. As soon as I can have it.

So the doctor came in just before 10:30 and broke my water, asked if I wanted the epidural. And it just so happens that the anesthesiologist was right there next to my door when they went to sign me up for it. So I got it right away. So the nurse checked me after about an hour and said I was about a 6. Good news. Progress.  It was a little over an hour after that that I noticed I could feel my contractions and my left leg was totally unmovably numb. And I could move my right leg. She gave me another dose of meds. I thought the contractions would start to go away, but they intensified and starting getting quite painful. More meds, then a check right after. When she checked me the baby's head was right there ready to go. It was time to get ready to deliver. I started crying. Realizing that this was it. This was likely the last few moments I will ever carry a baby in my womb. It's over. That season is finished.

So she called the doctor in, I was starting to feel the pressure from the baby's head, even through all the epidural drugs. He gloved up and said to push on the next contraction. I did. Push. Deep breath. Push again. Out comes his head, I relax knowing I would wait for the next contraction to push out the shoulders and the rest of his body. Nope, instead the baby's head came shooting out along with his entire little body. Stunned the doctor, and my family, and my husband's hand that got amniotic fluid on it. The shooting out was that one part that was pretty exciting (aside from actually giving birth).

I could tell by the doctor's reaction that he wasn't expecting him to be totally born all in one contraction and two pushes. He even said it was a good thing he caught the baby! Why yes, yes it was.

When he put the baby on my belly, I could only cry. His back was to me, but he was so incredibly tiny. And he was here. Born. My newest little love was now our newest family member. More tears were present during this birth than any other. I felt joy, relief, love. He was so perfect.

And as soon as he was cleaned up, he was rooting. He wanted to nurse. Right away. So I let him. For almost two hours. He did amazing. He knew what he needed and he knew how to do it. It was amazing.

And he still nurses a lot. A whole lot. And I love it. I love him. He barely cries. And I still have yet to hear him do a full blown newborn cry. They're more like little whimpers, even when he's naked or getting a dipee change with a cold wipee. He's been a great baby. And I love this part so much that I will soak every bit of it up and try my best not to forget the details.

 {4 days old... a dreamy half-smile}


  1. congrats! he's really here! i've been waiting and am very excited for you!

  2. You are a ROCK star, girl! Congratulations!!! So brave. I nearly choked up when I read the part about how you started crying when you realized it was time to push and the season of pregnancy was over. So well put.


I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.


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