Thursday, October 14, 2010

lately

.... I find myself a little stressed. When Jonyn was born (number 3) I dealt a little with the baby blues. Probably wasn't full blown PPD, but it was annoying. I shut down and shut everyone in my own home out. I barely talked to my family or anyone else for weeks. It was sucky. And when I called to find out what I could do, I was told that since I was breastfeeding - pretty much nothing. Which was totally crappy.

I can kinda feel those same feelings coming back. I never dealt with this stuff with my first. Though I had other issues from birth control pills after my second. It's crappy that Moms have to go through this. The first week after Brennen's birth I was emotional in the everything-makes-me-cry kind of way-good stuff and not so good stuff.

Now, I find myself highly irritable. All day long. I don't want to do anything. At all. Except yell at the little people in my life that irritate me when they won't stop singing the same song like they are stuck on repeat. Today I tried not to be in that yell-y place. I tried real hard. Then failed.

Of course, this cute baby, who is always wears this feed me! face is easy peasy. He's a pleasant baby. But sometimes his nursing and the toddler don't get along. Mostly because that's when the toddler finds things to get into when the baby is nursing. It doesn't work out so well for Mom.

Then I think, how can I be so cranky and so annoyed and so irritated and so annoyed all day when I have this adorable sweet miniature man face looking at me? It's annoying to feel annoyed, ya know?

Part of the problem is lack of sleep. And part of that is because of the cute toddler that runs 'round these parts. He's adorable, but high maintenance. It's gonna take an incredible woman to marry that one someday. Sheesh.


There are things I would like to do without children running wild around here. I'd like to get through an article, or a chapter in a book, at least a page, or do something with out being interrupted. That's what night time is for right? For the adults in the house after the kids are asleep. Right? RIGHT?

Even the baby gives me some quiet time after 7pm. (He sleeps like a dream). Not Jonyn. No. Like right now, for example. It took me ME about an hour and a half to finally get him to sleep. That's after he woke up at a reasonable time and went down for a nap at a reasonable time. Then I walk back into the room after he'd been asleep and got some clothes to put in the washer (by the way that's all I've accomplished today) and he is lying there AWAKE. Seriously? Is this cruel joke where I don't get time to even go to bed on time because my toddler won't? *sigh* And he won't go back to sleep right now either.

Just call me Mrs. Highly Annoyed for the next 1200 years because everything is annoying right now. I'm even annoyed at myself ..... thankyouverymuch.


 ps... now the baby is awake too.

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