Saturday, October 16, 2010

to get a better me

Yesterday and today have been much better than some previous days. Much better. Though I know what my problem is. It's lack of sleep. I think more sleep would make me a better Mom. In fact, after I realized I needed to start going to bed earlier, I read this. And I actually really believe it. My problem is this... the older two boys are in bed by 8pm nearly every night. And they're out in no time. The baby usually crashes for good between 7 and 8pm and wakes around 11pm or so. Jonyn is the tricky one. I try to lay down with him (yes, we're still not able to go to sleep on our own) by 8:30, though sometimes I fail at that. Then it will take nearly an hour to get him to sleep.

At night, I like to have time to read a book, blog, blog stalk, check my 15 email accounts, edit photos, anything that I can do in relative peace and quiet.

So what happens is after Jonyn is asleep which sometimes isn't til 9:30 or so, I get up I start doing these things I didn't do throughout the day; the things I want to do at night when the kids are in bed. Then before I know it it's 11:30 or midnight. Yep, the next day is already shot. I'll be cranky and moody and tired.

What I should do is get ready for bed starting at 9pm or as soon as Jonyn is out. I have to do that for not only myself, but for my kids. I hate feeling like a terrible Mom. But I do. Then I feel like a terrible wife because the house is a wreck. But it was clean at bedtime last night. And now, it's once again... a wreck. How does it even get so messy in less than 24 hours? I mean really?! This is a pattern that happens almost daily.

Anyways, my goal is to be in bed sooner. From now on. It will make me a better version of the me I already am. At least I hope so.

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