Tuesday, November 29, 2011

i have issues

Today I don't want to yell. I don't want to lose it over those little things. Pent up anger threatens to consume my soul. My every day. I'm working through it. Plans have been made to be through it and past it when this baby comes in June. This way, I can better deal with PPD. As opposed to anger issues and PPD combined.

Nearly 10 weeks. I feel good about this one. I think the Lord will let me keep it. My mommy instinct says I won't lose this one. This is my seventh pregnancy, I have four boys. Can't this one just be a girl this time? My uterus grows. It's already made my pants so uncomfortable I unbutton them the second I can. Or forget about buttons, I like pj pants.

I slack on homeschooling. When my husband is home, I skip it. I justify by saying we are schooling year 'round. Which we are. But still. I should be doing more. Also, how will I homeschool with a three year old, an almost two year old and a new born? It haunts me. I guess it's time to start praying for where God wants the older boys next year.

Still, extreme nausea and exhaustion and headaches are my norm, yet, they are signs of life, even if a little hindering. Growing, warm, protected, let this one be healthy, too.

I have precious boys I take for granted.

I don't want to yell today.









4 comments:

  1. "Just write", that's what I feel like doing too. It's therapeutic, I think.

    Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts". I know you don't have time to read. I don't either. But I'm half-way through it and seriously Brooke, get your hands on that one. Life changing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love you. :)
    Praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dearest sweet brooke, i came by from picture the holidays group. You have such an inspiring space here and i just adore my visit. Your posts are such heartfelt and honest. I hope things will eventually move your way and grand you the things you want. I will be praying for you and sending good thoughts your way. Have a lovely merry happy day and love to you!

    jacqueline
    http://jqlinesocuteithurts.typepad.com/

    ReplyDelete

I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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