Thursday, April 12, 2012

overwhelmed

I'm standing here in my it-was-clean-yesterday kitchen, wondering how on earth it got so bad after less than 24 hours. I'm walking in circles wondering where to start. I just feel so overwhelmed by my house and the stuff, to the point of tears. It's exhausting.

It's so hard to be a pregnant wife,  a pregnant homeschooling mom, and a pregnant mom to a preschooler and toddler. When I try to clean and keep it up, all I'm doing is pausing every minute to see what the two littles are into now. Do you know how hard that is? And how much longer it takes to get anything done? It's a bit frazzling.

I just want to do the dishes, which should take ten minutes tops, and it turns into a 30 minute ordeal because,

"leave the kittens alone"
"put the spray bottle down"
"get off that before you fall"
"stop touching [my stuff]"
"get out of the stove"
"stop throwing the clean clothes out of that basket"
"get out of my purse"
"don't eat the dogfood"
"get out of the bathroom"
"don't take your diaper off"
"put your big boys back on now"
"get out of the fridge"
"quit spilling the water"
"quit hitting your brother"
"bring that back here"
"blah blah blah"

"and please, for the love, go play in your room. for once."
(I don't even know why we have toys).

"repeat myself 100 times a day"

So my house feels and is so dirty and messy and gross. I just can't keep up. I feel like I'm in a race with housework and I am not only in last place, but have been lapped about 80 times. I just want to be able to do the stuff that is necessary.

Sure they say housework can wait, but really?

What if you're out of clean underwear for everyone?
What if there's nothing to eat on?
What if a preschooler pooped all over the front of the toilet and you didn't find out til just before bed and it's now caked on?
What if there's not a single surface clear?

I don't want my kids to live in gross and chaos and clutter and dirty. But I just can.not.keep.up. Lord, help me. It is just. overwhelming. so overwhelming. so much to do, so much gross to make clean.

I would love to have a whole day with out kids in my house just to get it caught up so I can then manage it better. That's my dream right now. That's it. I can not do it all right now. Once this boy is born, I know from experience my energy will return 100 times over and things will be so much easier to do and keep up.

But right now. *sigh* it's so hard.
and overwhelming.

2 comments:

  1. you took the words right out of my mouth. I've come to accept that I am only one person and "I'll get it done, when I get it done" I just try to take it one small piece at a time. Have you ever followed flylady.com? She helps break down housework into manageable parts. I like that she reminds us that it doesn't have to be PERFECT to be done.
    I hope you can give yourself a break. Take your time and do it in small pieces.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I lived near you (Indiana). I would take your two littles for a day. If it is any consolation, we don't have an littles and our house is a disaster.

    ReplyDelete

I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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