Tuesday, November 13, 2012


Yesterday, we held small group at our house, which meant cleaning. We don't school on Mondays so everyone participates in the cleaning duties. It was a nice calm day, very little acting out from the boys. Group was amazing. And after the good-byes, I found myself refreshed.

I started playing with the littles. We chased and I hid and jumped out to scare them. They thoroughly enjoyed it. No matter how badly Brennen was scared, he kept coming back for more. And laughing his little head off. Oh geez, it was fun. and funny.

After all the runnings around and changing into pj's, we impromptu-like gathered for a family photo with the phone.

We had a ton of fun. We acted silly and just played and were goofy as ever. I can't remember the last time I just had that much fun with the kids. It's hard, ya know? Being with them basically twenty-four seven, you forget that the quality is important because there's just so much quantity.

God called us to homeschool and I will do so as long as he has us doing it. But it does get hard being with these little humans all the time, morning to night, and during the night with the baby.

Today, I made a choice. I'm not yelling. I'm just not. I yell more than I'd like to. And with Jonyn, you can be as calm and rational as you'd like and repeat yourself eleventy million times and he will just keep on keepin' on and look at you while your talking, but not listen to a single word you say. You almost have to raise your voice to get him to listen to you. He's three. And that pretty much sums up our relationship right now. Those darned threes. It is just such a hard age. The hardest in the early years.

I keep thinking about how much I loved and adored playing with the boys last night. I want to be that mom. It's hard for me. To play with the kids, I don't know why. Just like showing physical affection to them is hard for me as they get older. I don't know why on that one either. I try.

I want to carry last night with me forever and make a conscious effort to be relaxed, to laugh, to enjoy my kids, to be fun, and spontaneous with them.

Being a mom is hard, no matter the number of kids. I wish it could be peaches and roses and sunshine all the time, but it takes work, and effort, and prayer. lots of prayer, and being in the Word and aware of the Lord's presence. And I'm committing myself to do all those things. My kids are worth it.

1 comment:

  1. thanks for being honest about motherhood. i should be doing work, but i'm busy browsing your page :) it's just so nice to read some honest stuff about parenting ... it's not all pinterest and starbucks!


I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.


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