this transformations has been happening in my spiritual life since about november. it's this pulling and tugging i have felt on my heart strings by my Savior that is causing this transformation.
i have made a huge effort the past several months to wake up early and spend time along with God before the rest of the family wakes.
in fact, the past week or so, i've had a hard time waking up before the sun (i set my alarm for 5:30). i think maybe it was my body's way of warding of sickness. i mean, it did not matter how much i slept, it wasn't enough and i couldn't physically get myself out of bed.
one day last week, i felt God all day, saying, give me your first and your best. i have heard this preached at our church before. and it struck a chord then. but this day last week, it just hit me and lingered. so i prayed i could do just that. i physically got down on my knees at my bed and prayed over this, to be able to give my first and best to God. that means going to bed at a reasonable hour (giving Him my best), and having quiet time in the mornings (giving Him my first).
so when i finished my prayer, there was this little tug to open my Jesus Calling for that day. typically i do my Jesus Calling at bedtime. so i went ahead and opened it, and it was talking about giving time to God. yes. Jesus, yes, i see, i understand, i will do. it's those tiny little confirmations that He gives that i adore so much. He's saying, hey, yes, what you feel is from Me.
so then, one day after all that, i slept too late, did not have quiet time, and we did not do our family devo before toby went to work. that day was horr.i.ble. we didn't complete our school work. i was hateful and an all around bear. everyone bickered. it was just not a pleasant day.
the next day, i had a hard time waking again (i really think it was a sickness defense mechanism) but i did my quiet time amidst the morning happenings after the kidlets were awake. and then we started our school day. i was still kind of cranky. so i told the boys to do their work, i was going to shower, and when i got out, we were going to start our day over and do our family devo and then continue with school. after that, the day improved and we were able to finish both days of school and do our chores and have a bit of free time before dad got home.
it just amazes me how when i did not give my first and best to God, i lost time, so to speak, and didn't accomplish the things i needed to do. when i did give my time to Him, he gave it back, and even with time to spare (reminds me of when we "tested Him" when we started tithing). it was a much better day. and so, lesson learned. i have heard Him speak to my heart about this. and i plan to obey. the rewards for obedience are too sweet to do anything but obey.