Tuesday, February 12, 2013

selfies: i found the light.

i had envisioned it. the perfect momma and baby selfie. i'd sit on the edge of my side of the bed, sideways, nurse greyson and it'd be a heavenly image.

but, everyone was still doing school, for which i had to be present for. the baby was falling asleep in the jumper.

after school and during the baby's nap, i went ahead and hunted down a tripod that apparently wasn't here. so went out for the step ladder instead, it's a good substitute. still, the baby napped. so a toddler to take his place.

which was fine. a few photos with him is just as sweet.
but then i took a few photos of the two of us and went to check the camera.

oh my geez. i.am.huge. i've lost weight. but i'm huge. rolls, chin fat, arms that go around forever.

*sigh. i was disappointed. and scared i wouldn't get any shots that i like at all.

so new plan. face the camera. set up in the middle of the bed. and then discover the most glorious light in the house. it was amazing. the light streaming in through the blinds on a partly cloudy day. gah. wow.

how had i never noticed this light before?

jo jo helped me with a few shots, too. and then i realize i kinda like this shot (above). it was cropped, just like the first image above, but still. i look kind of okay, fat face and all.

then my baby mister wakes up and he comes into the set up with me. preschooler, too. i take a few test shots. mkay, not bad.

i still look huge, especially compared to this tiny baby. but that's just who i am right now. and these images don't make me feel gross like some of the other ones that show the more fatty and round areas of my body.

so then i nurse him. and i'm super pleasantly surprised. oh. it's kind of lovely. serene even.

quickly he finished up, as usual. so we took some more unconventional selfies. mostly, i just love this little series. because don't we as mommas quite often put our babies, no matter the age, in front of us? their needs before ours?


did i feel vain taking all of these? yes. i did. but someday, my kids will look at these and remember what their momma looked like when the baby was still a baby.

this one below i actually love. like i really love it. i did crop, but more for visual appeal. i mean. love a photo of myself? does that ever happen? um, no. but this one i do. i really do.

and a neat trick i learned about photographing big girls with big bellies? pull the knees up. put the feet close together.
greyson says hi.

and then he was so proud of himself, he clapped.

then after these, i had to have more. yes. i know. i feel so vain. but i can't believe how happy i am with so many of the images that came of this. i want to share them all.

and perhaps i will. but for now. please don't be afraid to set up your camera in whatever way you must and take a self portrait. a different kind of portrait than an arms length phone pic.

if you have ever imagined yourself photographed a certain way. please, just do it. grab your camera. move and reposition yourself in different ways until you surprise yourself with how happy you are with your result.

and by the end, i promise you'll have gained more confidence.

i have.



4 comments:

  1. Beautiful! Beautiful pictures and beautiful mama! The 4th picture is my favorite right now. I just love the look on your face. :)

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  2. No full bodies for me for that reason. But I'm afraid if I don't one day I won't have the chance.

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  3. You: Gorgeous
    The light: Aaaaaaaamazing
    The nursing pics: Beautiful.
    The photo you love: PERFECT!

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  4. FIRST, it makes me sad how you view yourself bc you are GORGEOUS!!!!!_ SECOND, I miss having a baby to nurse :)
    That's all

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I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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