Saturday, April 6, 2013

because you were wondering

see this baby? notice how dark the room is? that's because it's past bedtime and this kid thinks that means something other than sleeping.
pretty much every night i can count on him being awake past even my bedtime. he takes two naps a day, like most babies his age. and if i lay him down early enough for the first two naps, he will even take a third evening nap. and i've been letting him. because it's hard to justify keeping a sleepy turned cranky baby awake.

recently, i decided it would probably better for the whole world if i got more sleep. so i started laying him down sooner and starving him of his third nap. i mean. surely that would cause him to go to bed at a reasonable hour. um no.

during the day, for naps, he will lay right down while he's still awake and nap. at night, he will not. ever. so to sum up. i am so exhausted. i can't get up early anymore. i sleep through my alarms. or i turn it off without ever realizing i did so. i barely notice when toby climbs out of bed in the mornings. i can't keep up on the chores that i'm responsible for. i don't ever want to cook because i'm ready for bed before dinner. it's a terrible feeling. i've been just relying on Jesus to get me through this exhaustion.

and on top of him going to bed around midnight, sometimes later, he still won't sleep through the night. some nights he is up every two hours. some nights, it's just three times that he wakes up. it's kicking my butt right now.

very much, i long to sit in bed at night and read a book. or crochet. or chat with my honey. to just be with out little hands pawing at me for an hour or so. i can't even express to you how much my heart wants just a little bit of quiet. we have one car. we homeschool. i am with our children from sun up til sundown and then some. me and Jesus are talking this out. because i need an hours worth of break sometimes. greyson just doesn't agree. i know eventually we'll get there. jonyn was almost just like this. at 2 1/2 he finally let us have our evenings back. i'm just praying it doesn't take that long with baby greyson.

and now you are caught up on my baby woes. because i know you were wondering.

1 comment:

  1. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. My littles were some of the worst sleepers on Earth. The fog of no sleep is just awful. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture - there's a reason you feel like you do. I wish I was closer so I could come help you out.


I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.


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