Friday, April 19, 2013

friday's top ten 04.19.2013

hello you. forgive me if i rant a few times. it's been a less than stellar week.

1. so. i have adolescent boys. two to be exact. and i swear i am going to flip my lid if the disobeying, lying, and selfishness continue. i pray over my kids. and i even read a book about parenting. but i don't know how to do this parenting thing with these older kids. Lord, help me.

2. i don't have any photos to share with you right now. darn.

3. i had this big long thing typed out about why facebook is not facebook anymore. but i didn't want to upset anyone. so i'll just say this. i miss the days when i could actually hop on to see the words YOU wrote about YOUR actual status. i want to elaborate, but at the same time, i don't. (this is where i was ranting).

4. you know how brennen is a big ball of happy + energy, right? okay, i don't even know how it's possible but he seems to be even more energetic and enthusiastic lately. and loud. did i mention loud? he's started screaming while playing. and pulling his diaper down his butt and shaking his booty at me while sing-songing look at my booty! see my booty?! sheesh.

5. so here it is. i had these plans to grow my business and specialize and be awesome at what i do. maybe not awesome, but at least successful, which would be awesome. but now. oh dear, how do i even begin to say it.... now i'm pretty sure God has other plans. i pray over our business regularly, and i'm pretty sure God is telling me not to "work." i'm not supposed to be doing this, it isn't what He has for me. i have put a lot of time and effort into this, i even designed my website (my honey was finishing it up), but i think i need to just put it all aside for now. whatever God has for me, even if it's just being a Mom, i will graciously accept that role. so, i won't be taking any more sessions at all. it's a little difficult to accept, but i am strangely at peace with it all.

to sum up: God's plans are not always the same as my plans. especially when i did not seek His will before declaring i was going to do lifestyle photography.

6. on tuesday, i went to the garage where our old mirrored closet doors are. and then i took full body before photos in my skivvies. front. side. back. it's not pretty people. but i like to see results. and the next day, i started the 30 Day Shred. last night was day two and i'm more sore today. i will stick with this and i will see results. my next goal was working out three times a week and 20 more pounds lost by june 1st. i have 15lbs to go. i'm looking forward to comparing before and after shots and really seeing the difference.

7. greyson hasn't been waking up every two hours, but he still wakes up 3-4 times a night. *but* he is now going to bed on his own without a fight. progress. and also, he's like, the cutest baby in the world.
(ok, so here's one photo).

8. i have been trying not be so negative and trying to reign in the complaining. it's so hard to stop the words from spewing when i'm emotionally wrecked. i'm working on it though. well... Jesus is working on it. i'm always a work in progress. always. and sometimes, i still go backwards instead of forwards.

9. the community of women and mommas i have found through instagram astounds me. i was in awe when i found the community of momma bloggers. and now i'm in awe of these other mommas. God is good. and as a mom who is always at home, i love having moms via social media to encourage and relate to when i'm having a tougher time than usual.

10. i want chocolate. right now.

happy weekend. next week will be a better week, right?


  1. I get #5. When I went back to work with the organizing business and didn't ask God first, things got tougher.
    When I stopped fighting it and just went back to full time mom... things started working again.
    So ya, my full time job is this. And when things stop working I back off...
    Lesson Learned!
    ...and it's not like you don't have a beautiful family to photograph and keep those skills sharp. Logging their life through pictures will be so wonderful to look back over. :)
    Love you!!!

    1. i knew you'd get it :) i've been hoping i was wrong in what i felt. but nope, God wants me to not be a business owner right now. love you!


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