Thursday, May 9, 2013
on becoming joy-filled.
is that enough? is it enough to just pray for it? what if i sought it out also? looked for it, chose it? what if i claimed joy when i saw it? what if i purposely found it? so i started looking for it. and claiming "here's where i find joy" in my everyday moments, in the ordinary. and i can feel this slight transformation in my mood. in my attitude. in how i handle the stress of my toddler screaming in my face. or the big kids bickering once again. or the baby not sleeping. or the four year old having yet another melt down. the enemy attacks more as we began to transform, i think. at least, i feel that way. but i'm choosing joy over anger. and it doesn't always win out. but it's starting to win out more and more and more.
so for me personally, in my walk, to just pray for joy wasn't enough. i have to be proactive, i have to open my eyes and my heart to see it, to embrace it. i have to truly hunt for it and let it wash over me.
simple things like, the open windows and the perfect breeze in the mornings. or my nursling having his breakfast in my lap. or my big kids doing their chores cheerfully and promptly, learning to be productive and caring men. or turning a ball of yarn into something useful and beautiful. or little leaves sprouting out of my garden.
those things and more, when i open my eyes to them, fill me up. my joy meter rises and the stress drifts further and further away from me. and in these small moments where i seek and find the joy, there, i also see the hand of Jesus. and i am thankful, for yet another tiny, simple moment in my life. and i'm trying to tell myself... don't miss the small. don't miss the little things because you're hung up on the bigger things. enjoy them. say yes more. hug more. be kinder. show love better. and document it all. because there will be a time where i need to see where all the joy lay hidden before, where i found it with open eyes and a willing heart. there have been only a few times in my life i have felt completely on top of the world, happy, joy-filled. i'm out to be that again. those days were amazing. and i want more of that. i'm not a happy-go-lucky giggly girl by nature. but i can be. i can exude joy and happiness, if i let Jesus move me and mold me and rid me of those ugly things in my life, if i just seek the joy and not sit back idly and pray it just comes to me.
changing and growing take work. and this, this i'm willing to work at.
(you can join me on instagram with #ifindjoyhere. and find me @brookeechambers.)