Thursday, May 23, 2013

simple moments :: week 27

found in motion

since Grey is walking. like really walking. like more than just the ten  or so at a time he was taking since i last posted the walking post, i figured, and i'm sure you guessed by now, that i would put up more photos of my wee little 10 month old in motion on his chubby thighs and feet.

i mean, for real those thighs! those cankles! and the way he walks like a baby ape, the way all of my boys have started the walking phase doing it like a baby ape. arms in the air, the extreme waddle, the off balance steps. ah! i adore it, it melts me to my core. i want to always remember the adorableness of the start of walking. i hope i never forget this. and greyson, well, he happens to make the funniest faces when he walks. he really does. 


i've had trouble lately finding the joy in the everyday. it brings me to tears to see these photos because i do see joy here. i feel it when i see these, when i see him walk. i am completely exhausted; greyson won't sleep and it seems like bickering is the boys' new way of life. i am completely worn out and weary before the day even begins. so it's been hard to see the good in the days lately. i feel like i'm just on the edge of a breakdown that i don't want to happen. i yell a lot lately, and i don't like that. my biggest fear is that ppd is setting in again after greyson, and the Lord knows how much i do not want to go through that again. deciphering what i'm feeling... is it just weariness from sleep deprivation or truly ppd? i can't tell. and it scares me. but i don't want to live in that fear. 

(iphone photo)

i have that posted in my kitchen, and i look at it often. i want that. i want to live in that joy, i am just struggling to do so. i pray to let the joy of the Lord be my strength each time i see it, but it is hard for me. so watching my fifth and final baby walk, it does bring me joy. he is joy. even if he is a terrible sleeper. and these photos make me feel happy inside. i want to always remember what joy he has brought me at this sweet stage in his development.

next prompt: found indoors

simple moments: previous weeks
simple moments is about finding the small things that make up our everyday, things we want to remember and be thankful for. it's the little bits of our lives that might not be remembered when we are gray and old. so we document it, on paper, with a photo, in a journal, through a blog. join me?

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