Sunday, August 11, 2013

His perfect timing

today's message was good. heart wrenching. tears falling in the middle of service. holy spirit conviction. exactly what momma needed. good.
i have many struggles in my life. one stands out above them all. anger. it's an ugly sin in my life that i have had such a hard time getting control over since having postpartum depression.
so hearing Jerry Thorpe speak over this biggest struggle in my life was a God thing. God timing. God breathed. i mean, i seriously felt like the message was solely for me.
and honestly, last night, i decided i wasn't going today. i really didn't want to be around people. and that's been the story of my week. it's been rough, you guys. with the kids, and the disobedience we're dealing with, this week has just been so so terrible. so i made up my mind to skip church.
and partly because baby greyson is cutting his top teeth right now and waking up a million times at night to nurse. so i knew i'd be tired. i laid awake in bed for a long time this morning, and read a facebook status from our church about what Mr. Thorpe was preaching over. huh. anger. and then God nudged me and whispered into my soul to get dressed and go. and so i did.
i thought we'd be late to church, i said a prayer for Him to supernaturally get us there on time (meaning kids dropped off and in my chair before the music starts). i was four minutes early. that was a God thing because i had to nurse grey before we left and normally, i would have walked in late leaving at the time i did.
God knew what i needed spoken into my life today. He knew. and He gave and He loved and lavished and He spoke straight to the depths of my soul. i'm thankful for Jerry Thorpe's words today and for God using his straightforward message to speak truth into my life when i desperately needed it.

whatever you're going through, God knows. and He is good.

5 comments:

  1. Love when God "makes" me go to church when I REALLY don't want to. He always proves to me that His timing is better than mine. He always has a better plan than me. Thank you for sharing that you continue to struggle with anger since suffering with PPD. I share the same struggle. With our God we will get through this.

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  2. Replies
    1. me, too. i was seriously not going to go. i cried through nearly all of the service (as discreetly as possible. which was really not very discreet).

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  3. Way back when I heard a pastor say "the day you want to go to church the least, is likely the day you need to go the most". Every.single.time I want to skip out on church, that's what comes to mind. It keeps my perspective where it should be.

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  4. I visited a church today and the message was on "anger" and i find myself wishing that my kids dad wasnt so angry. I wish we had heard a message so powerful that we could have stopped to listen and then ask God how we can change for the better. But we didnt. And i was young. I jumped into a marriage and for many reason's (both his and mine) it failed. But if i only knew what i know now.
    praying for my ex tonight
    and you
    and my kids and the life ahead of them.

    love - Dars

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I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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