Sunday, December 8, 2013

an evening with grey

baby boy is such a joy. he really is. i can't imagine our lives without our fifth boy. it's crazy to think about how much life and wonder and entertainment and love and fun he adds to our lives. as his momma, i'm so overwhelmed with love for him.
yes, sometimes i get all touched out by the constant need to nurse. sometimes i get overwhelmed with his meanness. sometimes i feel a lit.tle stressed by his constant climbing and getting into things. but more than that, i just lub him. to pieces. a bunch. so so much. he's precious. ornery. but precious. 
my heart seems to swell so big i think it might burst when he leans in for a huge open mouth kiss. and his mouth is huge. it really is. which makes it all the sweeter. the toddler chub gets to me, too. i just want to squish it. squishy, squishy, squish it. 
and sometimes i just want to hug the snot out of him. i do. but i refrain some, you know, to make sure he can still breathe when i squeeze him tight. how can this unplanned, surprise of a baby be so perfectly fit for our family? it's amazing. God knew i needed him. we needed him. 
and he calls me Da! and he calls all other grown ups Da, too. and he calls his daddy Da or DaDa. so you would think daddy was the favorite. and grey is almost to that age where he loves daddy more. except he loves the boob the mostest right now, so mommy wins favorite parent for a few more precious months. and i'm thankful for that. all of my boys start becoming daddy's boys around two-ish. so i'll just soak up his snuggles and near constant need to nurse while i can. he's only tiny for a little bit. then he all grows up and gets big. might as well embrace what others will judge as too long or too much. because when you start nursing from day one and don't stop, day 365 just seems natural. so does day 545. so onward we march with the toddler nursing, ignoring the world around us and snuggling up close and tight while we do what is best for us and cherish our togetherness before time snatches it away.
he fake laughs, and throws everything, and puts his hands on his forehead when i'm telling him no, and his little voice is super loud, and he climbs onto all tables, and he dances only if no one is watching, and he runs to the door yelling DA! when daddy comes home, and he loves the broom, and he loves almond milk and berries, and says please, stop, oops, uh-oh, and dada, and he waves bye bye, and blows sugars.

my boy. i love him. he's 17 months old today.

ps: either my camera or my 50mm and 85mm lenses are messed up and not focusing correctly. [sad face]. 
and of course....

embrace the grain.

1 comment:

  1. oh my goodness he looks so much like Jonyn! i love that static hairs shot!


I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.


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