Thursday, January 9, 2014

pursuing relationship. (written 12.16.13)

{this post was originally written december 16, 2013}

my last post had over 100 hits. now i know that in the bloggy world, that's pretty much nothing compared to the hundreds of thousands of hits some peeps get. but this is little ol' me we're talking about, and because i blog so little these days, 100 is a bunch.

i just find it funny that the very next time i attend church (after writing that last post), my pastor has a sermon titled "all the lonely people." i mean. for real. pretty sure God was affirming what i was feeling. pretty sure sometimes He does things just for me. at least, it feels just for me, and that's like a little kiss from heaven. but anyways. i said i didn't want to be labeled as a "busy mom" who has time for no one or nothing. i want friends. i don't want to be a lonely housewife. or a lonely mom. or a lonely whatever who has nothing to talk about because she's only home all day every day with her kids and never ventures out. yes, i'm an introvert, and yes, it would be so stinkin' easy for me to become a hermit.

but my introverted heart wants someone to chat with, too. this past weekend, i ventured out of town for a dinner with my jewelry family. i drove 2 1/2 hours both ways just for dinner. sounds crazy, right? well, it is not at all crazy when you want to make connections that last and you want to befriend others. the dinner was so fun and i needed the half day break from my minions. i mean, my spawns. i mean, my babies. MY BABIES. my sweet babies. that never do a thing wrong. i kid. because, they're kids. and it was a tough, tough week last week, so the drive all by myself was refreshing. chatting with other women? super refreshing. and after that dinner, i went and sat on my best friend's couch for some couch therapy. i only stayed a couple hours, but good heavens, it was the best two hours of my week. i mean, i love my children. but there are full weeks that go so wrong. they are hard and trying and there are glimpses of good, but mostly they're just rough. so spending time with my bestie? needed.

so when my pastor basically said go make some friends. i basically said, yessir. and i was close to jumping out of my seat to yell yes! because i need those connections and friends and long chats. it's one of the reasons my other bestie in washington state and i decided we would not go another 10 years without visiting each other. it's going to be an every year deal. because i need her. i need to see her. i need that connection. i need that friendship. it's real and raw and beautiful and genuine and honest. and i need that.

it's fun to make friends over social media. i admit that i have made some amazing connections with social media friends, and i'm pretty sure if we ever met in person, we'd be able to sit on the couch and chat and laugh for hours. but i can't fly everywhere all the time. and commenting on social media does not hold a candle to sitting in person with someone you care about and bearing your heart. that's what this momma needs. like, really needs.

so my pastor said go make friends. and that's what i'm going to do. i'm going to actively seek friendships, plan social get-togethers, invite friends over for dinner, invite moms over for coffee and playdates. i'm going to be that person. i am going to put my heart on the line. i wish i could express to you how incredibly hard all of that is going to be for me. i don't do social well, i don't do putting it out there well, i don't do asking people to hang out well. but i am going to power through and when rejection happens (and it has already and will still yet), that will just be okay, i will move forward with pursing relationships with other women.

we were made for relationships, first with Jesus, then with others. so i'm excited and nervous, but i'm ready. so here goes nothing...


3 comments:

  1. I need that couch time too. It's mom therapy. And it's best with your bestie.
    I so miss it and look forward to each visit. I love you, I miss you, and I know when you take a moment to sit down and show someone else your heart they will love you too. I'm so proud of you for all the big social leaps you've taken over the past year. :)

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  2. I'm literally in tears here because I so wish we lived closer. :(

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  3. I completely understand where you're coming from. My bestie lives in Austin, a place I've only been twice, and she only comes "home" once, maybe twice a year. (Unless certain happenings are going on). And "home" is still a 2 1/2 hour from me. We both try to meet if we can, but sometimes I wished she lived so much closer. I miss her.
    As for building new relationships... Its hard for someone that isn't and extrovert. Its SO tough. But its something that needs to happen. Good luck on your endeavour. It'll be a good one. :)

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I am so happy you are here. Your words make my heart so happy.

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