i have a real woman's body.
i go back and forth between loving it and not so much loving it.
i have stretch marks. and not just from birthing babies.
i sort of blossomed physically at a fast enough speed during puberty to
cause stretch marks right then.
i gained some during my first year of marriage when we moved away from home
and i was semi-depressed about it and blew up like a whale (60lbs).
but then, i have these lovely, amazing, beautiful baby-love marks, as i call them,
that grew with my expanding belly as my womb carried each of my five boys.
those stretch marks, those baby-love marks, those i love.
they will forever serve as a reminder of my capable body's baby warmer
and those nine (or ten) cherished months of growing my babes.
my body is not perfect. not even close. i'm not even thin. i have never been any sort of thin.
even in high school, i was chubby. i have always had a belly roll, a muffin top,
hips, a booty, wonky boobs, arm flab, back creases, and thunder thighs.
i still have all those things. they're just exaggerated now.
my hips are very hippy from child bearing and well, just being a woman.
everything is squishy.
everything is soft and smushy.
and i eat right. i mean. for real, not just america's view of "eating right."
i really eat right: real food. whole food.
i run. well, jog-walk. or something. i move my feet and my body goes.
i sleep, when the baby lets me.
i drink water.
my thyroid is all jankity. it has been since i was 11. and yes,
i know that has an affect on my metabolism, and therefore my figure.
but even when i do all things right, i still am fluffy.
but here's the thing i'm learning.
did you know, that even with all this extra fluff (and the 50 extra pounds of fluff i used to have),
my husband still calls me and sees me as sexy? i know, my mind has a hard time
wrapping itself around that. but it's true. i hear it a lot.
and also? i'm learning God has me this way. He made me this way.
so even when i am doing all the things right,
i'm fluffy, and it's okay, because God made me.
He sees me, He calls me beautiful, and beloved, and His own.
so us women, with real bodies, and real flaws,
we. are. beauty.