friday's top ten 09.05.2014

hey-OH.

1. boy, have i been a bear lately. about all the things. i mean, grouchy. as. heck. i don't like it. but it just seems so hard to be cheery. every time i see "choose joy," i'm all like, how do you choose joy when nothing on your insides feels good? how do you want to choose joy and feel like you just can't grasp it, like it's just out of reach? because i'm there. often. too often. i want joy. but how do i choose it, when it feels so far off.

2. on that note, i keep asking Jesus to take away whatever is making me not love life. fix my insides, Lord. juuuust fix 'em. (not that it works that way).

3. for the first time in our nearly 14 years of marriage, i am willingly and happily turning over all budgeting and checkbooking to my dear husband. i'm so sick of doing that crap. once upon i time i loved it and found great joy in balancing and bill paying. now, just take it away. all of it. you can have it.

4. school. i have great intentions. that go to crap after the kids wake up. every day. i just feel like enrolling them in the public school system and going back to being a mom and wife minus the daily teacher part. i think i'm just worn to the bone. it is a very rare day that i get to do anything alone or with other grown ups, and i think i just need that.

5. muh-squitas keep getting into our house and chewing. us. up. bumps and redness and little scars everywhere. because the blasted things always find their way into our room. at the back of the house. jerks.

6. a quick way to bake a potato is to wash it, stab it with a fork, wrap it in foil, and put it in water in a pressure cooker. 20 minutes after it starts popping and steaming and it's done. bam.

7. i said goodbye to instagram. i have been avoiding it for months. ignoring the Lords call to put down my phone. so i'm completely deleting my account. i plan to only check in on facebook once a day (or as necessary with my business). plus, i deleted all forms of entertainment off my phone, including all games, pinterest and other social media apps, and netflix and amazon tv.

i was reading my #shereadstruth devotional this morning and God spoke straight to my disobedient heart. "Like a parent who has been disobeyed time and time again, His anger burns (Hosea 8:5, NIV). I picture God watching us toiling away at all the things that don’t matter, wasting our time, wasting our efforts on building our own kingdoms instead of His." -srt. that phrase is when i am pretty sure God was yelling at me. i am guilty. of so many things, including ignoring his call to put down my devices and stop letting them be my idol. so there you have it.

8. pretty sure parents of multiple babes who drive something other than a minivan don't know what they're missing. honestly.

9. i saw this quote on instagram the other day from @melissalyonsart and it made me believe in what i do even more. "God uses you in your passion and your vocation. don't think that the fashion industry and hair and art and whatever it is is not spiritual work. it's WHO you do it for!" -melissa lyons

10. my husband is going to start working freelance. so he's going to be home all. the. time. i love that. but am not naive to the fact that it'll take some adjusting on both our ends. he says he wants to help with school, and i'm all, yes, please! it's going to be new and different and exciting and freeing and maybe a little hard and mostly freeing. just freeing.

bonus:
11. i found grey passed out this way after typing this up:

enjoy your weekend, peeps.