Monday, June 8, 2015

ninth month struggles.

the real 9th month struggles.

1. the out of control, i apologize for what is happening, cleavage.

2. to get new undies that last month or not. because the current ones cut into the legs.

3. nothing sounds good to eat. ever.

4. the waddle.

5. the ridiculous amount of effort it takes to crawl into bed.

6. the ridiculous amount of effort it takes to crawl out of bed.

7. needing to pee 847 times per hour.

8. there is no, lemme just squeeze through here.

9. the clumsiness. geez. lemme just drop all the things.

10. pretty sure i just accidentally fell asleep again.

11. hip and pelvic and pubic and leg pain.

12. braxton hicks that aren't painless and occur all the live long day.

13. when the toddler starts doing something you need to jump up to stop. 
but you just can't jump up in a hurry anymore.

14. strangers ask if you're "close," and you say yes, but think, not close enough!

15. putting on pants.

16. and shoes.

17. thinking something sounds super delish, but four bites in and you wanna throw it out.

18. losing total focus.
and losing total focus on something you were just saying.

19. everything under the whole flippin' sun takes so much effort and often causes discomfort
of some sort.

20. everyone else has to deal with the cranky. the mean. the whiny. the lack of tolerance.
the unpleasant. and all the will you please pick that up off the floor for me even 
though it's right in front of my feet? 's.

21. the crying over dumb stupid things that are so insignificant any other time in life.

22. strangers touching the belly, asking if you're about to pop.
i will punch you.

23. those first eight-ish months flew by, but not that it's mere weeks away, it's soooo slow.

24. waiting ever so patiently for the end of the day to take off your bra and million
layers of clothes.
{the bra, with the tank, with the shirt, with the over the belly pants.}

25. drying off completely after a shower is basically impossible. like shaving the legs.
and washing anything below the thighs.

did i miss anything?


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